Ne3s23p4

The Fault In Our Stars 2（主黑赤、黄赤）

完了我觉得我欢脱的本性暴露了……

“小~赤~司~”清晨如白鸽羽翼上滑过的凝露般诗意盎然的宁静美好在那一瞬间被烤成了水、蒸、气。

 

赤司无奈地叹了口气。“凉太，安静一点，会打扰到其他人的。”

 

“就是，你这家伙什么时候才能长点脑子。”青峰。

 

“即使长了也没用这家伙是智商会蒸发的体质。”绿间。

 

“小赤小赤，我可以吃零食吗。”紫原抓起一大把薯片塞进嘴里。嘎嘣嘎嘣。

 

“紫原君你刚才说的话根本就不是问句而且你已经在吃了。黄濑君请不要把眼泪蹭到我身上，稍微有点恶心。”黑子面无表情地从黄濑身边退开半步。

 

“小黑子好过分！”黄濑哭得梨花带雨，正欲施展他“一哭二闹三上吊”的绝版技能，却在感受到赤司周身散发出的“再让我听见你嚷一声就剪了你哦[笑]”的森冷气场后立刻收住了眼泪。

 

即使闭着眼，黄濑也确信赤司能一剪封喉。

 

黑子偷偷瞄了眼黄濑憋屈的表情，又望了望赤司不明显但的确是实实在在流露出的清浅笑意，竟无端地觉得释然。当年，同样是春寒未褪春意初开，六个少年同其他篮球部员一起，在一片旧黄新绿中奔跑。晨风尚冷，并不能鼓动血管的缩张，然而身处他们之间，跑在那个少年身侧，听他们或愉快或幽默或一边倒的冷嘲热讽嘻哈调笑，却感到全身都温暖起来。

 

那时，每个人都单纯地相信着自己前方的道路，相信着快乐相信着梦想，相信着自己能够创造奇迹。

 

相信着，那个少年指给他们的大洋彼岸的未来。

 

然而这一切终究属于过去。不管黑子再怎么努力地唤起奇迹们并非奇迹的最原始的热情与激情，不管黄濑再怎么可怜兮兮地充当被众人揶揄调侃的对象，不管绿间再怎么傲娇紫原再怎么长高青峰再怎么黑，那个少年，都已经不再相信他自己了。

 

“我说赤司啊，你眼睛上缠着的绷带什么时候能解掉？看着怪怪的。”青峰俯下身端详赤司稍显苍白的脸，碎金般的阳光洒在他的鼻尖上。他感觉不到他的视线，那令他畏惧而又兴奋地颤栗，令他不由自主地想追随他，想亲眼见识被他所征服的世界的恢弘博大的视线。他觉得有些烦躁，没有那视线的洗礼，他竟感到不自在。

 

赤司沉吟了一会儿，说：“最快也要一个月，不过那之后会怎样，我就不清楚了。”

 

“完全康复的可能性大么？我是说，还能用‘眼’么？”绿间问道。

 

“我不知道还能不能用‘眼’，根据医生的目前表述，可能连恢复正常视力都难。”

 

绿间的眼色沉了沉。镜片反射出的微弱的蓝绿光与他碧色的虹膜相衬，映得这白色空间也有些恍惚。他紧了紧眉。他亦有他的不甘。他决不允许那赐他败寇之名的帝王在他涉足他的王城前，率先兀自消散。

 

啊，不过我们亲爱的勇士绿间君的装备着实有些奇葩——一只夹在左臂下的巨型羊驼布偶。

 

“那样的话还真是不妙，”绿间从口袋中拿出一个企鹅挂件，“所以才更要尽人事。这是赤司你今天的幸运物，我只是在买羊驼的时候偶然看到了才顺手买的，并没有特意去找。”并没有特意去找桃井问来比较受欢迎的饰品店然后拉着高尾在天刚蒙蒙亮的时候拍着人家的店铺门要求快点开门营业不然诅咒你明天运势倒数第一なのだょ。

 

“多谢。”赤司伸出手，绿间把企鹅挂件放入他手中。

 

“啊，我也有礼物要送给小赤司哦！”黄濑拉开背包拉链，“黄濑SAMA最新写真集，PIKAPIKA~”

 

“谁会去看那种东西啊！而且赤司现在根本看不了好么蠢黄！比起来，还是我的小麻衣写真集——”

 

“那种东西小赤司更不会去看好不好，aho峰！”

 

“小赤我给你带了美味棒哦……啊咧，刚刚好像被我吃掉了……”紫原似乎很困扰。

 

“紫原君请不要这么若无其事地说出这么不负责任的话。另外这是我做的mix tape，上次看到赤司君戴着耳机——嗯，总之有点在意，希望赤司君喜欢。”

 

赤司微微一愣，略带疑惑地望向黑子，似对黑子的隐瞒有所不满，但又像是想起了什么，焦躁地抿了抿唇，却终是在众人察觉出异样之前恢复了常态，泰然自若地收下了礼物。

 

哲也“观察人类”的爱好，稍微有点麻烦呢。

 

“呐小赤司，”黄濑突然出声道，“小赤司住院这段时间都干些什么？”

 

“并没有什么。不，准确地说，是什么都没有。”

 

“那还真是要命。要让我连着3个月都不碰篮球不碰小麻衣，我大概会去街上随便拉一个倒霉蛋对着他的头来一记灌篮吧。”

 

“依此来看，我觉得你进劳改所的几率大一些。”

 

“噗哈哈，小青峰剃平头……哈哈哈那是什么，巧克力棒？煤锹？啊对了小绿间非洲有和尚么哈哈哈我不行了哈哈哈……”

 

“黄濑你小子活腻了吧看我不把你剪成锅盖！喂，赤司，你剪刀放哪儿？”

 

“小黑仔，小黄变成锅盖头了会怎么样？”

 

“黄濑君原先的女粉丝们会觉得他的脑袋很适合用来洒番茄酱。”

 

“诶~那个听起来好像很好吃……”

 

……

 

赤司渐渐退出了谈话中心，身体微后仰靠在床上，静静听一伙五颜六色的人扯着天南地北的淡。必要时发表一下评论，往往一针见血切中肯綮，其余的时间便任由五人，尤其是青峰和黄濑，将他的一潭死水搅成热气腾腾的一锅粥。

 

但是当粥凉了，也不过是残羹冷炙。

 

“小赤司/赤司/小赤/赤司君，我们先走了（呦）。”日已近午，各人都还有各人的安排。当那跫音也变得难以捕捉时，狭小病房中剩下的，只有赤发少年难以名状的空茫。

 

赤司慢慢收拾好前队友留下的礼物。真太郎的企鹅挂件，既然是幸运物的话就暂时先放枕边吧；哲也的mix tape可以听听看；凉太的写真集和堀北麻衣的写真集大小差不多呢，光靠摸分辨不出来，但也没什么大碍，反正它们接下来的命运不是物归原主就是成为垃圾桶的饵食；敦的美味棒，还是等他自己来吃吧……

 

轻薄的白色窗帘就像鼓足了风的船帆，在近午浓烈的日光中破浪前行得意洋洋。窗台上的百合花却似是染上了礼拜二午睡时刻倦怠的恶疾，青翠的茎秆绵软下去，病恹恹地垂挂在花瓶细长的颈口，花香失魂落魄散了一地，一如病床上赤发少年的坚强。

 

这便是他的未来了。他不顾一切地贯彻着他的信念要摘得“绝对胜利”的桂冠，他把他所珍惜的三年时光交缠出的羁绊翻手作棋局上的网谱，他甚至抛弃了曾经的自己只为能走得更心无旁骛莫之夭阏，然而如今，他却将成为那唯一一个牺牲者。

 

他是那么渴望证明自己，但结局却是满地狼藉。

 

他忽然想起前一天晚上从广播中听到的那首诗：

 

Once on a yellow piece of paper with greenlines

 
    he wrote a poem

 
And he called it "Chops"

 
    because that was the name of his dog

 
And thats what it was all about

 
And his teacher gave him an A

 
    and a gold star

 
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door

 
    and read it to his aunts.

 
That was the year Father Tracy

 
    took all the kids to the zoo

 
And he let them sing on the bus

 
And his little sister was born

 
    with tiny nails and no hair

 
And his mother and father kissed a lot

 
And the girl around the corner sent him a

 
    Valentine signed with a row of X's

 
    and he had to ask his father what theX's meant

 
And his father always tucked him in bed at night

 
And was always there to do it

 

 

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

 
    he wrote a poem

 
And he called it "Autumn"

 
    because that was the name of theseason

 
And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

 
    and asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

 
    because of its new paint

And the kids told him

 
    that Father Tracy smoked cigars

 
And left butts on the pews

 
And sometime they would burn holes

 
That was the year his sister got glasses

 
    with thick lenses and black frames

 
And the girl around the corner laughed

 
    when he asked her to go see Santa Claus

 
And the kids told him why

 
    his mother and father kissed a lot

 
And his father never tucked him in bed at night

 
And his father got mad

 
    when he cried for him to do it

 

 

 
Once on a paper torn from his notebook

 
    he wrote a poem

 
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"

 
    because that was the question abouthis girl

 
And thats what it was all about

 
And his professor gave him an A

 
    and a strange steady look

 
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

 
    because he never showed her

 
That was the year Father Tracy died

 
And he forgot how the end

 
    of the Apostles's Creed went

 
And he caught his sister

 
    making out on the back porch

 
And his mother and father never kissed

 
    or even talked

 
And the girl around the corner

 
    wore too much makeup

 
That made him cough when he kissed her

 
    but he kissed her anyway

 
    because that was the thing to do

 
And at 3 am he tucked himself into bed

 
his father snoring soundly

 

 

 
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

 
he tried another poem

 
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

 
because that's what it was really all about

 
And he gave himself an A

 
and a slash on each damned wrist

 
And he hung it on the bathroom door

 
because this time he didnt think

 
he could reach the kitchen.

 

赤司征十郎，竟是如此害怕孤独。

 

“小赤司，有空么？”门口突然传来熟悉的声音。

 

“凉太？”赤司有些不确定，他明明刚刚才听着他们离开。但是考虑到会蠢到问自己这个闲得都要长出蘑菇来的人“有空么”的二货除了黄濑凉太再无其他人选，赤司还是说完了后半句话，“舍不得自己帅得掉渣的写真集？”

 

“才不是啦，”黄濑蹭到赤司床边，语气中有“妈妈我今天捡到了一分钱还把它交给警cha叔叔了”式的兴奋，“其实我有另外的礼物要给小赤司哦~”

 

“嗯。”

 

“小赤司好冷淡QAQ~”黄濑又有了要哭的趋势。“因为稍微费了点心思，所以想要以特殊点的方式把它送出去。而且要是刚才就拿出来的话绝对会被小青峰弄坏的。”

 

“说实话，凉太，我认为回马枪不是什么特殊的方式。”

 

“不要管那种事了啦。总之，”黄濑从背包中掏出一个黑色的盒子，“肯定不会让小赤司失望的！”

 

赤司听见黄濑朝病房另一边的电视机走去。因为不能视物，那台好像很高端的电器从赤司入住起就一直处在黑屏状态。

 

“凉太，我看不见……”赤司正想提醒正兴致勃勃不知道对着电视鼓捣些什么的黄濑，忽然听见有机械化的女声从黄濑的方向传来。

 

“Welcome to Price of the Dawn .”

TBC

沙尔法的碎碎念：

1、那首看起来很屌的诗引用自《the perks of being a wallflower》，沙桑对该诗不拥有任何权利。

2、《礼拜二午睡时刻》是马尔克斯的一篇小说，沙桑在此引用以悼念马尔克斯，愿其在天国仍能以孤独抚慰世人或以快乐抚慰自己。（虽然沙桑连《百年孤独》都没看完……完全找不到共鸣啊就算逼着我我也看不下去了！）

3、越写越废真的对不起！！！